I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
No subtext here. People are naked.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
