Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
