And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
