this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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