he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Bring me that man meat
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
