i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
