I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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