At least make sure they are 18
Why
I feel great
I just peed on a car
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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