Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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