You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
