I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I intend to get homeless drunk
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
