the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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