How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
