i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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