your room smells of hookers.
And success
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
