question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize