In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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