a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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