i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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