would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize