I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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