they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
