Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
and she was petting her beer can
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
