It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Dear god my vagina.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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