So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
