Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I have fence marks all over my body
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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