i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
