all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Sorry my hands just texted you
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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