she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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