just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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