yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
