Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
