margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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