that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
