I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
