As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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