I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
