She's JV to your varsity
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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