New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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