why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
