another moral hangover. fuck.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
