What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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