I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
