had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize