Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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