i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
