ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
