So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
