I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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