Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
