Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
