No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
