i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Is it because I queefed?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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