I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
