You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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