somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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