so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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