Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
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