cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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