Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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