i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
