gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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